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Saying Goodbye...
It's wild to think 4 months ago I was in tears when leaving behind my boyfriend and friends realizing how long I would be gone- at that point it felt like it could be forever. To set here today- having said goodbye once again to each and every child I spent 4 months with and grew to love and new friendships I cherish- once again with tears running down my cheeks.
I'd made a new home in a foreign land and become part of an even larger family than my own! I was totally confident in taking public transportation anytime of the day- or driving in the "jungle" of manila traffic- or walking down a road- through a squatter area or down the main drive- a place where I once felt fear doing these things- now felt safe and comfortable.
So many broken children that still shared so much love and laughter with me. At times I would be frustrated- feeling like I was making little impact on these amazing kids' lives- but this was all proven false when the time came to leave.
I worked to get 41 cards made with messages for each one- and while finishing the last morning several of the kids wanted to color- as so we had our last color session together. When it was time to clean up for lunch- many of them came to me with their pictures and gifts. Each had drawn a picture or letter for me- some of them were the quiet kids that I had less interaction with.. yet these letters expressed their sincere appreciation and love for "Tita Tessa". Wow- it took all I had to hold back tears as I read each card or picture that was presented to me.
I did dinner with them and then devotions and saying goodbye would be next. It felt like it was yesterday I had just arrived in the home- why did I have to say goodbye so soon? Do they all realize how much I really love them?
As they each got their cards- the younger kids were eager to have them read to know what they said- and when I went to their rooms- many wanted them read over and over- as they repeated what was written- so they could memorize it and always know what I written just for them. I cried and they all came and surrounded me in hugs- some being more patient than others, little Michael came over and kept going, "Tita, TITA!!!" Once I acknowledged him and looked down- he has his arms open wide and says, "HUG!!" Like- come on already!! When I picked him up- he gave me the biggest bear hug- the greatest bear hugs are given by this little boy. :) Armie came over to say goobye and also say, "tita your makeup is running- but you're still beautiful". They are so honest- yet so sweet and encouraging.
Saying bye was so hard- it came so fast- I feel like I'll still want to sing, "Surely goodness and mercy..." before I eat any meal- in fact I will be teaching that to kids here..
Saying goodbye to the kids- the friends I'd made- the Long family- that had taken me to be one of their own- and the life/country/people and culture that I had grown to love and make my own.
I'll miss these kids- I'll miss their hugs- the high fives in the street- the smiles and friendly faces- everyone saying hello- being called "tita Tessa" the love, hugs, laughter, and smiles that comes with 30+ little children running about-
I was constantly asked, "Tessa when will you come back?" I'm not sure- I'd love to visit again, but I don't know how soon. I have a feeling though- this place now has a special place in my life and heart and I will be back one day- sooner than later- to visit once again- and share love and laughter with everyone around.
Just a note:
From the last post- the statements shared about the catholic religion are true for the religion of this country (Philippines) and wasn't meant to be generalized for all catholics. Religion here is much more symbolic, it's much different from any church in the states. (This goes for any religion here or in the USA). It wasn't meant to be offensive to anyone.
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