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Happy Belated Diwalli!
I have been back in Nowgong for a week now and so am ashamed that I haven't written about my first Indian festival of lights sooner.I do apologise, but, as luck would have it, I was struck down by the inevitable Olte Dast (literally translated vomiting and loose motions) and so, having spent two days in bed, have now found the time and energy to write.
I spent Diwalli with my flat mate Richa's family in a village near to Jhansi (the nearest big city to Nowgong).When I say village, it did not remotely resemble those in which we work and Richa's house was extremely large - necessary for her extremely large family - and fitted with toilet and bathroom (which was a room with a bucket full of water in, but certainly felt more refreshing than the shower with the malfunctioning shower head that I use at home).
Yes I wore a sari!Check out the pics because, even if I do say so myself, I look pretty amazing.I felt so beautiful that I was ready to relent and have someone set me up with a hubby, just so I could wear one every day.The festival itself was incredible.It starts at night time with puja (worship) to a shrine - I think of Ram and Sita - which involves lighting candles and waving incense and putting tika and rice and sweets on the little statues.Auntie also tied red cotton around my wrist to symbolise that I had worshiped, thought I'm not sure of the exact terminology for this action.We then played with crackers (sparklers and fireworks) and had dinner, followed by lots of Razgola (the best Indian sweet of all - which I've learnt how to make).
All in all, it was a great night - made better by the great week I had with Richa's family.They were all so welcoming and made sure I knew that I was their new addition and to come back and visit as often as Richa did.They are the typical patriarchal group - one grandfather, three brothers and their familes all living together (the fourth lives in Jhansi).This means that Richa grew up with her older brother and sister, 4 cousin brothers and 3 cousin sisters, not to mention the nephew of the women that rents a room from them making it 5 cousin brothers in total.Of course the cousin part is only added for the ignorant outsider like me who feels the need to understand family lines, in truth there's just 6 boys and 5 girls in the family, who was born of whom isn't much significant.
I was also involved in the festival in which brothers and sisters honour each other.This happened two days after Diwalli and involved us girls putting tika on our brothers, and feeding them a sweet, and them touching our feet and giving us money.I quite liked this practice, and think I'll bring it back to Britain when I come home (Crookey)!
In addition to doing a bit of shopping in Jhansi, where I bought two new Salwaar Kameez's, some trainers so I can try and lose some of this excess weight, and some speakers for my laptop, we also visited Orcha - a place famous for its temple and fort, and took up an invitation to a ceremony to celebrate the forthcoming marriage of one of Richa's friends.Orcha was such an awesome experience.Being with my Indian siblings granted me access to the temple when there was a massive foray of worshipers, whilst all the other foreigners stood and watched.I was pulled through the masses throwing sweets and rice at the statues of the gods and told to take the water being offered at some of the shrines and touch it to my head and drink it (perhaps an explanation for my current illness).We also went to one shrine which was the bedroom of two gods - man and wife.Richa pointed out a large stack of envelopes and explained that it was customary to send the first wedding invite to these gods and so they collected here.People were tying string, or anything they could tie, to the railings around the temple and, having asked why, I was told that they were wishing for something.I ripped the label off my water bottle and tied it around also.I asked if I had to do puja so that my wish was granted but Richa said no, I must return and do puja if and when it was granted. So I may (or may not) have to return in a years time ; )
Since returning back to Nowgong I've been trying to get back to work, although weebums are slightly encumbering the process.On Wednesday I spoke to a woman who had to keep her face covered and wouldn't speak above a whisper because there were men present - a very very common occurrence. I studied anthropology so a slight sense of ''cultural relativism' will always run in my veins but this just felt so wrong.There are social movements here to fight for women's rights also so I don't think I'm imposing my own culturally produced opinions by feeling this way.The project I'm working on strives to empower women by making sure they're on the committees that oversee the water supply and latrine construction, and by creating 'self-help-groups' consisting entirely of women who open a shared bank account used for emergencies or loans to start little business ventures.I hope these efforts actually contribute to helping women like this, and I hope the social movements that I've been reading about in the paper result in bringing about change.Everyone should have the right to choice and control over their lives - maybe that is a very Western way of thinking but my opinions taking root more and more every day that I am here.The thing about giving choice is, you can choose not to take it!
Anyway, enough of my philosophical mumbo. Despite my recent enthralment with feminism, and dabblings in Hinduism, I am still the little Midlands girl who loves a good night out with her chums, and a proper Sunday have the living s*** beaten out of me and earning the evening that follows.I miss you all so much.In fact, my way of keeping sane despite all these new experiences and frustrations is to mentally escape into the novels that Anna sent that are mostly about London love lives, and of course living vicariously through your (and your retelling of others) lives.
So keep the emails and phone calls coming.I can't tell you how grateful I am for all your support.
Those who are set on visiting - book your flights soon so I can have something to really look forward to.
Love you all lots
Mandie (or is that Mandeep?) xxx
PS(W)hoop (W)hoop - Obama is in the White House!!
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